What Stops You from Living:
"More than anything else, I believe it's our decisions, not the
conditions or our lives, that determine our destiny." -Tony
Robbins
What stops us from living in balance? We
can easily come up with the everyday generic answers like, "Too
little time, not enough money", "It takes money to make money!"
"I'll rest when I retire, right now I have too much to do.", and "I
think I'm in balance, it's everyday life that pushes things out of
balance." Most of the excuses we give ourselves encompass a lack of
resource or feeling that you are at a disadvantage of some kind. We
have so many reasons for our excuses and because we believe that we
are so skilled at recognizing excuses in others we full heatedly buy
our own load of bull. What excuses do you give to yourself that you
would actually take to the bank? Stop feeding yourself so many
excuses and let yourself be free to explore the
truth.
The reality is... Yes there are people who have much greater
opportunities or advantages; but, there are also people who have
achieved balance and success who have done so with less. The
difference between those who do and those who do not is the ability
to be true to themselves, utilize there own resources and climb out
of their own box. In the next chapter, we will look at living from
your strengths. In order to fully accomplish REAL
balance in your life you must take a good hard look at the reality
of your situation, and your personality. Again you must be willing
to be honest with yourself to figure this one out. If you are taking
a good hard look you might find that the reason for your lack of
balance is much greater than you thought.
Food for thought:
Feelings of Guilt: guilt about our own success, guilt
about not achieving what we set out to, guilt about feeling overly
self indulgent or appearing self centered. Guilt about setting
boundaries, or possibly disappointing people. Guilt if things feel
as if they are going too well, and always waiting for the other shoe
to drop. Guilt with a splash of shame, fear, or pride. Guilt about
not putting others first, or second or third.
Feeling Unworthy: We spend so much time aspiring to be
highly competent, unfortunately more often than not we experience
the opposite. Feelings of incompetence leaves a nasty residue on so
much of what we do. Low self- worth leads us to stop pursuing
balance, dreams, and our vision. We see others accomplish what we
believe are greater things and begin to doubt that we are qualified
to achieve the same thing. Lack of self-esteem takes over and we
unconsciously sabotage any and all attempts at balance and
success.
Losing Touch With Who You Really Are: Mother, father,
psychologist, therapist, lawyer, partner, spouse, cousin, friend,
child, associate... whatever hat we happen to have on in that moment
is the role we play. We are so good at multi-tasking and "doing it
all" that it is very easy to loose touch with ourselves.
Unfortunately this loss of touch means that there is no possibility
of achieving true balance. The craziest thing of all is
that while we want so much to be effective in our lives, we become
completely ineffective when we are out of balance. The more in
balance that we live our lives; the better we are equipped to help
others find balance. We are so much better equipped to help others
create better lives if we have experienced true balance ourselves.
Makes sense, huh? I want to remind you that because we are a pretty
intelligent group, we easily grasp concepts intellectually but are
often standing in cement when it comes to letting things sink in
emotionally. Do yourself a favor and pull your feet out of the
cement. Let yourself grasp this concept on an emotional
level.
Fear: Can you believe that F-E-A-R is only a four letter
word? Unfortunately it is a word that hold such power over us. Fear
can reduce the most courageous into a mouse. So how do you conquer
fear? Develop an intimate relationship with it.
Remember: What you resist, persists! Stare right in its
eyes and understand its every breath. Acknowledge it, respect it,
and learn to dance with it. (not in spite of it.) What ever you do,
do not be a victim of fear's rapture. Develop a triumph over your
apprehension. Turn your doubt into deep desire and your resistance
into flexibility. Feeling As If "It's" Just Too
Difficult: It is not too terribly difficult to come up with what you
need, who you are, what your vision is, or even a plan of how you
will accomplish all of this. It is, however, very difficult to have
the staying power to sustain the strong effort it takes to succeed.
Most of us fall back on what we have done in the past, what we find
easiest, or what will provide the quickest feelings of gratification
with the least amount of effort. Learning to find discipline,
concentration, and focus is probably the biggest hurdle you will
have to climb. It takes the ability to continue to pursue even when
we fall off the track.
Perseverance, dedication and commitment - even when you make a
mistake - is all that you need. If you can allow yourself to be
human and make mistakes, than you will have the freedom to get back
up when you fall. Goals MUST be swallowed in small easily digestible
bites. If you bite off to much to chew, you will quickly become
overwhelmed and lose your motivation. "That would just
take so much time!" This is a very common excuse for why we do not
pursue our goals or strive for true balance. The gratification feels
as if it is too far and few between, to put so much energy into it.
You have to ask yourself though, hasn't most everything that you
love and value taken time to achieve or build? The best way to
combat this issue is to remember that it IS the journey, NOT the
destination!!! Regularly remind yourself of the value and the
reasons for staying true to your commitment to your goals and to
finding balance in your life. This is not a requirement, this is a
choice. You have already accomplished so much in your life; you know
what determination means and have the courage to follow through. If
you cannot do it yourself, feel free to find the right resources to
get you there.
